I'm still not studying. I've started feeling that little fluttery tightness in my chest that means the procrastination has gone on too long, that if I don't suit up and start working this mild panic will turn into a major freakout and I'll be mired in self-loathing and dread and completely unable to function.
And I'm really cold. When I poked my nose out of bed this morning it was to find that the indoor temperature had fallen to 38 degrees while I slept in my very warm down cocoon. I've had the fire roaring for about three hours which has gotten the temperature up to . . . 45. Not exactly balmy. Temps like these make me really miss the snow. When it's snowing, it's not this FUCKING COLD. (Have you noticed the patterns of my posts? I have: weather, weather, ohmyfreakinggodwhatamigoingtodowithmylife, weather, weather, procrastination, procrastination, weather, ohmyfreakinggodwhatamigoingtodowithmylife. Sorry I'm so boring. At least this post will hit the trifecta.)
I was google chatting with a friend this morning who suggested I send her my resume and she could try and get me a job with her employer in [a suburb of] Chicago. And I'm thinking about it. Yes, I said I wanted to stay in Idaho, and yes, I'm about to take the Idaho bar. But . . . I LOVE Chicago, and I love my friend who lives in Chicago, and I'm really fucking COLD and I'm weak, and I haven't gone skiing once this winter, and I went hiking about twice this summer so who the hell am I kidding with this mountain girl shit, and the thought of looking for a job sends me into a blind panic, and a year after leaving DC I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up (since lady of leisure is not looking to be a viable long-term option) so why the hell not commute from city to suburb to work in-house for a huge corporation? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to keep track of billable hours.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
The saddest part of this post is that you want to go to Chicago to get away from the cold.
Complete agreement on the saddest part, from someone you don't know (former resident of Chicago, current resident of LA)
Well, it's not so much that I'm considering a move to Chicago to escape the cold, it's that my mind is so enfeebled by the cold that the thought of moving across country AGAIN to work in a career I'm pretty sure I won't like much more than my last one doeesn't seem like such a bad idea.
Post a Comment